Today I accidentally painted on a spider and accidentally cut a spider's leg off...

It was a bad day to be a spider in my yard today...the cut off leg one was me trying to get the spider out of a plat I was repotting and I snipped it just shooing it...sorry spiders, please do not invade my bedroom.
I just threw up on myself from coughing so I feel very weirdly relaxed right now, drinking tea, cool breeze blowing in my bedroom window. About 30 songs on shuffle...it is a Jeff Buckley, Noah Gundersen, Edward Sharp & the Magnetic Zeros, John Paul White and Gregory Alan Isakov kind of night in musicland....

So much DNA/Ancestry action going on these days. Very intense is the business of paternity...it is so different for everyone...ranging from apathetic to obsessed. I want to know who my sperm donor/daddio is but the ship has sailed on it really altering my life too much. A nice Hollywood happy ending would be fantastic...but...you know...let's remember who we are dealing with her...a person who avoids emotions like the plague. I would prefer to step over smelly, rotting corpses than confront the people who have hurt me in my life...the act of saying to someone that they hurt you is a paralyzing action for me...its way too raw and way too vulnerable a state. In fact, I do not even like this paragraph now.

Social media/the news is just jaw dropping crazy right now...I was listening to a podcast (yes it was a Joe Rogan podcast - do not judge b/c he is not what you think) and someone said that we humans just cannot handle this much bad news and fuckery bombarding us all.day.fucking.long. Remember when we were kids....you did not have access to near this much information. I feel myself struggling in the bog of information...I cannot keep my life in order the way I used to....I feel like it is time for a change...like give up Facebook or something but omg I am so nosey...I would miss peeping so bad.
Fuck.